Sometimes it can be difficult to come up with new ideas for your sex life on your own. Giving an erotic massage, for example. How do you go about it? And where do you actually start? In this blog, I provide an explicit step-by-step guide and a number of practical tips for a pleasant erotic massage, with the female partner at the center.

Tip: Also read my other blog for ‘an erotic massage for him’

1. PLANNING AND PREPARATION

Although we also love spontaneous ideas, when giving an erotic massage, it can sometimes be useful to plan a date with each other and prepare a little. After all, you can easily take at least 2 hours for an extended erotic massage. Make sure you have a date in the calendars, the children are in bed, or they are staying overnight. Make sure you have a nice massage oil at home and a lubricant. Take a look at the erotic massage oils from LovePlay that have an aphrodisiac scent. You can also order a massage candle, so you can massage with a deliciously scented warm oil. A water-based or silicone-based lubricant is also handy to have on hand in this case. Finally, a large towel to lie on.
So far, so good with the practical preparation.

Tip: Do you know that your female partner finds it difficult to get in the mood and needs time to get aroused? Then don't forget to tease her in different ways in the hours (or even days) leading up to your erotic date. For example, give her a beautiful lingerie set as a gift, send her an exciting text message, write a love letter and hide it under her pillow. Whisper in her ear when you get home from work how much you are looking forward to your date. In any case, show her in different ways that you long to be together and how much you love her.

2. SETTING THE SCENE!

The date of your date has arrived. Just checking again… is everything at home? Turn on the heating in the bedroom nicely an hour before the moment arrives. Lying naked in a cold bedroom doesn't get anyone in the mood. Brrr.. ;). Have you bought a massage candle? Then be sure to light it an hour in advance so that there is enough melted oil. Make sure the room is tidy and make it cozy with some candles. (use electric tea lights for safety). Make it completely romantic by scattering rose petals on the stairs and placing a tea light on each step. Ask your partner if she likes it when soft music is playing. For some, this helps them relax, while others find it distracting. Spotify has very suitable playlists for this, for example ‘Relaxing Massage’.

• Tip: Ask your partner to take a nice shower (and do it yourself too). We also have a delicious line of Bodycare products.
• Tip: Put on a sexy lingerie set yourself.
• Tip: Make sure your female partner has warm feet. Cold feet and sex don't go well together. There has even been research done on this ;)

3. TALK IT OUT

It is well known that many women have so many thoughts in their heads that they find it difficult to relax. So start your romantic evening with a cozy chat. Ask your partner how she is doing, what is on her mind, how she feels, etc. Give her the space to ‘talk her head empty’. If you find it difficult to find conversation topics, the game Openhartig Private Time (add link) can help you talk about different topics. Enjoy a cup of tea together and leave the alcohol aside. Alcohol is known to reduce women's desire for sex.

4. LET’S DO THIS

Let your partner lie on her stomach on the bed (don't forget the towel). Start with a ‘regular’ body massage first. Take your time to feel your partner's body and gently massage her muscles loose, so that she completely relaxes. Massage her back, arms, and legs. Take as much time as you need for this. This way she will be completely relaxed and can later more easily surrender herself completely to you.
Tip: Also don't forget to gently massage her forehead, temples, cheeks, and chin. This way you massage away the last thoughts that may still be in her head.

5. TEASING

Now that your partner is completely relaxed, it is time to give her erotic impulses. If you are familiar with her erogenous zones, then gently kiss her on these spots. Stroke around the erogenous zones with your fingertips, but do not touch them directly yet. If she has sensitive nipples, for example, stroke around them. Massage the inside of her legs, groin, and lower abdomen. Make use of all her senses. Talk softly to her and tell her how beautiful you find her, that you enjoy the touch, how beautiful you find her breasts, buttocks, etc.
Tip: Make use of a tickler. A kind of feather-soft down feather on a stick with which you can tease and tickle her.

6. BUILDING UP

It is time to build up the tension further. Slowly massage upwards along her legs and gently touch her labia, stroke softly around the clitoris, stroke her breasts and nipples. Massage her buttocks.
Lick and gently suck on her fingers. If the feet are an erogenous zone for your partner, stroke the soles of her feet, go with your fingers between her toes, nibble, kiss, and suck on her toes. Use your imagination and pamper her in every way you know. You will now pay extra attention to all of your partner's erogenous zones by directly massaging, kissing, and stroking them.

7. TOWARDS THE CLIMAX

Ask your partner to lie on her back, put her feet together, and place her knees on the bed. If your partner is a bit less flexible, place a pillow under both her knees. Sit yourself in the created V space, so that you can easily reach her vulva. If necessary, pour some kissable oil, lubricant, or body-friendly massage oil over her vulva. Slowly stroke with your hands from the inside of her legs towards her labia. During this moment, the full focus is on pampering the clitoris. The clitoris runs through the labia like a kind of butterfly, so do not focus only on the ‘visible nub’ above the vagina opening. Stroke gently, apply some pressure sometimes, and alternate your pace. Build up to a climax in this way. Try to feel what your partner likes. Or ask her if you are stimulating the right spot. Above all, encourage your partner to give you instructions. If your partner likes it, you can stimulate the clitoris with one hand while stimulating the inside of her vagina with the other hand. Go inside her with 1 or 2 fingers, with your palm facing upwards. Keep your finger(s) straight as you go inside her and slightly curved as you come out. This is how you stimulate the woman's ‘G-spot’. Above all, start gently and at a slow pace while you continue to stroke and massage the clitoris at the same time. If your partner likes it, you can vary the pace and the amount of pressure you apply inside with your finger. It is also nice here if you ask your partner for feedback. Harder, softer, faster, slower. It is about what she finds most pleasant at that moment.
You can choose to postpone the orgasm one or more times just before she reaches her climax. When she is ready for the orgasm, it may feel even more intense and powerful due to the postponement.

8. AFTERGLOW

Give your partner the time to enjoy the afterglow in your arms for a while longer.

Questions?
Do you have any questions after reading this blog? Feel free to ask them!

Erotic Massage Oil 200 ml

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