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Tips for giving an erotic massage (for her)

Sometimes it is difficult to come up with new ideas for your sex life on your own. Giving an erotic massage for example. How do you handle that? And where should you actually start? In this blog I provide an explicit step-by-step description and a number of practical tips for a pleasant erotic massage, in which the female partner is central.

Tip: Also read my other blog for 'an erotic massage for him'


Although we also love spontaneous ideas, when giving an erotic massage it is sometimes useful to plan a date with each other and to prepare a bit. Because for an extensive erotic massage you can take at least 2 hours. Make sure you have a date in the diaries, your children are in bed or are staying out for the night. Make sure you have a nice massage oil at home and a lubricant. Take a look at LovePlay's erotic massage oils that have an aphroditic scent. You can also order a massage candle , then you can massage with a wonderfully scented warm oil. A water- based or silicone-based lubricant is also useful to have on hand in this case. Finally a large towel to lie on.
So much for the practical preparation.

Tip: Do you know about your female partner that she finds it hard to get in the mood and needs time to get excited? Then don't forget to tease her in different ways in the hours (or even days) prior to your erotic date. For example, give her a beautiful lingerie set, send her an exciting text message, write a declaration of love and hide it under her pillow. When you get home from work, whisper in her ear how you're looking forward to your date. At the very least, show her your desire to be together and how much you love her in different ways.


The date of your date has arrived. Just checking… everything is in the house? Turn on the heating in the bedroom an hour before the moment arrives. Lying naked in a cold bedroom doesn't get anyone in the mood. Brrrr.. ;). Have you bought a massage candle? Then light it at least an hour in advance so that enough oil has melted. Make sure the room is tidy and make it cozy with some candles. (use electric tea lights for safety). Make it completely romantic by scattering rose petals on the stairs and placing a tea light on each step. Ask your partner if she likes it when music is playing softly. For some this helps to relax, others find it distracting. Spotify has very suitable playlists for this, for example 'Relaxing Massage'.

  • Tip: Ask your partner to take a nice shower (and do this yourself). We also have a wonderful line of Bodycare products for this.
  • Tip: Put on a sexy lingerie set yourself.
  • Tip: Make sure your female partner has warm feet. Cold feet and sex don't go well together. There has even been research into that ;)


Many women are known to have their heads so full of thoughts that it is difficult for them to relax. Start your romantic evening with a nice chat. Ask your partner how she's doing, what's on her mind, how she's feeling, etc. Give her space to 'clear her head'. If you find it difficult to find topics of conversation, the game Candid Private Time (add link) can help you to chat about different topics. Have a nice cup of tea together and leave the alcohol alone. Alcohol is known to reduce the desire for sex in women.


Have your partner lie on her stomach on the bed (don't forget the towel). Start first with a 'regular' body massage. Take the time to feel your partner's body and gently massage her muscles so that she can relax completely. Massage her back, arms and legs. Take as much time as you need for this. This way she will be completely relaxed and she will soon be able to surrender completely to you.
Tip: Don't forget to gently massage the forehead, temples, cheeks and chin as well. This way you massage away the last thoughts that may still be in her head.


Now that your partner is completely relaxed, it's time to give her erotic impulses. If you are familiar with her erogenous zones, give her gentle kisses in these areas. Caress your fingertips around the erogenous zones, but don't touch them directly yet. For example, if she has sensitive nipples, caress around them. Massage the insides of her legs, groin and abdomen. Make use of all her senses. Talk to her softly and tell her how beautiful you think she is, that you enjoy the touch, how beautiful you think her breasts, buttocks, etc. are.
Tip: Use a tickler . A kind of feather-soft down feather on a stick that you can tease and tickle her with.


It's time to build up the tension. Slowly massage up her legs and gently touch her labia, caress gently around the clitoris, caress her breasts and nipples. Massage her buttocks.
Gently lick and suck her fingers. If the feet are an erogenous zone for your partner, caress the bottoms of her feet, run your fingers between her toes, nibble, kiss, and suck her toes. Use your imagination and spoil her in all the ways you know how. You will now pay extra attention to all your partner's erogenous zones by massaging, kissing and caressing them immediately.


Ask your partner to lie on her back, put her feet together and place her knees on the bed. If your partner is less flexible, put a pillow under both of her knees. Sit yourself in the created V space, so that you can easily reach her vulva. If necessary, pour some lickable oil , lube, or body-friendly massage oil over her vulva. Slowly caress your hands on the inside of her legs towards her pussy lips. During this moment, the entire focus is on pampering the clitoris. The clitoris runs through the labia like a butterfly, so don't just focus on the 'visible nodule' above the vaginal opening. Stroke gently, sometimes apply some pressure and vary your pace. Build to a climax in this way. Try to sense what your partner likes. Or ask her if you stimulate the right place. Above all, encourage your partner to give you directions. If your partner likes it, you can stimulate the clitoris with one hand, while stimulating the inside of her vagina with the other hand. To do this, enter her with 1 or 2 fingers, palm facing up. Keep your finger(s) straight when you enter her and slightly curved when you exit. In this way you stimulate the woman's 'G-spot'. Start gently and at a leisurely pace while continuing to caress and massage the clitoris in the meantime. If your partner likes it, you can vary the pace and the amount of pressure you put on the inside with your finger. Here too it is nice if you ask your partner to give feedback. Louder, softer, faster, slower. It's about what she likes best at that moment.
You can choose to delay the orgasm one or more times just before she reaches her peak. When she is ready for the orgasm, delaying it may make it feel even more intense and powerful.


Give your partner time to relax in your arms.

To ask?
Do you still have questions after reading this blog? Reassure them!

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