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Singles and sex

As the owner of a Christian erotic shop, I regularly receive questions from customers. Sometimes they are very practical questions about an order – 'Will it really be shipped discreetly?' – but I also regularly get questions from people who are looking for advice or just want to tell their story, because they have nowhere else to go.

Occasionally I get asked why we only focus on Christian couples. Christian singles also have sexual feelings, don't they? And what about when you are divorced? For example, a customer who had just gone through a divorce e-mailed that her need for intimacy had remained and she now really missed it.

It is indeed true that we primarily focus only on (Christian) couples. A target group that we know well and that is why we mainly focus our blogs and products. But that does not mean that we believe that as a Christian single you should not have sexual feelings or act on them. I can well imagine that this is a difficult discussion within many families and churches. Let alone how you think or feel about this yourself. It is very understandable that as a Christian you can have your doubts, but also your desires.

God made sex and it is natural for us as human beings to have sexual feelings. It is up to us to deal with it with common sense. I personally think it is very normal to learn to discover your own body when growing up. Sexuality is not something you can turn on overnight. As with other things, you have to discover this step by step.

That also means learning how your body responds to sexual acts. Research has shown that women who know how to come to an orgasm (read: getting to know their own body), this also becomes easier when they have sex with their partner. And for men, regular ejaculation reduces the risk of prostate cancer. It's a shame we've made masturbation such a taboo.

I think it is a challenge for teenagers, singles, divorced people and people who have lost their partner, for example, to find out how to give substance to your own sexuality in a pleasant way. And this is different for everyone. I don't believe it's wrong to enjoy yourself. It's a bit different if you can't live without it anymore, it's a filling of emptiness or if it eventually leads to an addiction. But that is no different with many other things in life, such as alcohol and work.

Are you currently alone and do you feel like this is an issue in your life? Then bring your desires and wishes to God. He knows better than anyone what you need and if you do have a partner, try not to be too quick to judge this subject and put yourself in the shoes of the other person.

Els Gouman

1 Response



December 09, 2022

Blij om een andere kant te lezen die eigen komt met mij gedachten over zelfbevrediging als alleenstaande en niet telkens die taboe er rond te krijgen, je mag dat niet of je ga in zonde enz…,

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