With a busy life, taking time for your sex life sometimes falls short. And be honest, in many cases that comes at the expense of foreplay. A 'quickie' once in a while can of course be quite exciting and exciting, but in this blog I want to make a plea for the importance of foreplay.

What is Foreplay?

Foreplay is the activity that precedes (penetrative) sex and is intended to increase sexual arousal. Foreplay can, for example, consist of caressing or massaging the other person, kissing each other or exchanging erotic language. The latter is also called 'dirty talk' (but of course it doesn't have to be 'dirty' at all). Foreplay is an important part of sexual pleasure and contributes to more intense sexual contact.

The tricky thing about the definition of foreplay is that it basically says that everything we class as "foreplay" (kissing, caressing, masturbating, oral sex) are just stepping stones to the real thing; penetration sex. Of course that is a bit outdated. Sex is much more than just penetration. Oral sex, for example, can be a very enjoyable sexual experience in itself. Or an extensive erotic massage can lead to a fantastic climax, without penetration involved.

Why is foreplay important?

However, it is important to take a moment to consider the importance of foreplay. Whatever definition you use. Because 'good' foreplay is very important for pleasant, pain-free sex. A few advantages at a glance:

• Foreplay contributes to increasing sexual arousal and ensures more intense sexual contact.
• It can also help relieve tension.
• It helps you to discover what the other likes and likes.
• It creates an emotionally and physically connected feeling between both partners.

In general, therefore, foreplay has an important role to play in a positive and pleasurable sexual experience.

Physical benefits of foreplay

In addition to the aforementioned benefits, foreplay also causes physical reactions in the body that can contribute to great sex. For example, foreplay can help improve blood circulation and increase heart rate, leading to increased sexual arousal. Taking enough time for foreplay also ensures that the vagina becomes sufficiently moist before you move on to penetration. This makes sex smoother and more comfortable. Do you regularly experience pain during sex (as a woman)? Then it may mean that you are not sufficiently moist before you start the (penetration) sex. Take more time for foreplay and/or use a lubricant .

Do's and don'ts of foreplay

There are no hard and fast rules for what to do and what not to do during foreplay, as it very much depends on what both partners find comfortable and pleasurable. In any case, it is important to communicate with each other about what you like and don't like and to always respect each other's wishes and boundaries. Both partners should experience pleasure from foreplay!

Do's in foreplay are:

• Try to find out what your partner likes by asking about his or her preferences. Ask questions, listen and ask questions.
• Use different sensual techniques, such as massaging, kissing and caressing, to increase sexual arousal. Alternate who takes 'the lead' in this.
• Let your partner know that you find him or her attractive and desirable through compliments and physical contact. There's nothing more exciting than feeling loved!

Don'ts in foreplay are:

• Don't try to force or coerce if your partner isn't in the mood or isn't comfortable with certain actions.
• Don't be impatient or try to jump into sexual contact or penetration too quickly, but take the time to explore each other's bodies and enjoy each other's presence.
• Don't be insensitive or disinterested if your partner suggests something you don't like, but try to listen and understand why the other person likes something and look for a compromise.

8 practical tips for ultimate foreplay

It is especially important to take enough time for foreplay and to use your own imagination and creativity. Continue to communicate openly with your partner about your wishes, desires and fantasies. In addition, various products and tools can give you a helping hand to make foreplay even more ultimate. We give a number of practical tips:

1. Massage oil or lubricant can help moisturize and soften the skin, making massaging and caressing during foreplay more enjoyable and comfortable.

2. Bath and shower products with a sensual scent can help stimulate the senses and increase sexual arousal.

3. Lip balm with a soft texture and a pleasant scent can help keep the lips soft and moist, which can contribute to more comfortable kissing during foreplay.

4. Wear erotic lingerie to seduce your partner and to feel sexually aware. Wearing erotic lingerie can help you feel more sensual and confident.

5. Massage candles with sensual scents create a romantic and intimate atmosphere. A massage candle stimulates the senses and spreads a wonderful scent.

6. Use music to create a romantic and relaxing atmosphere. For example, choose music with a low and soft tone that can lower the heart rate and relax the muscles.

7. Use a (sex) pillow or blanket to feel more comfortable. For example, by putting a pillow under your head when you lie down or to lean against when you stand. A sex pillow is specifically designed to make different positions more comfortable.

8. Use sex toys to enrich your foreplay. For example, by using a vibrator or air pressure toy to stimulate the clitoris, glans or G-spot (yes, a vibrator or air pressure toy can feel good for men too!).

Enjoy each other!