You will probably experience it yourself in your own life. Due to the hustle and bustle of your work, children, household and social activities, your life is soon fully planned and there is hardly any time for each other, let alone time for real intimacy. While I am convinced that this is very important for your marriage. It is always said that communication is the most important thing, but I experience the intimate time with each other as equally important.

We regularly plan an evening off together. Laptop off, phone on silent, television off. As soon as the children are in bed, we fill the bath, light the candles, pour a glass of wine and our romantic evening can begin.

I really need such a relaxed evening from time to time. This way we really have extensive time for each other to share the things that are really on our hearts. But at the same time it also ensures that when we are in bed there are not all kinds of to-do lists whirling through my head. Probably very recognizable for many women. I have sometimes caught myself that, while we are making love, I still have an action list running through my head. I then notice that I have to consciously focus on my husband again at such a moment.

That's why these kinds of planned evenings are so important to me. Relax in the bath and then a wonderful massage in bed before our love game begins. Since the ideas and plans for our webshop started, we have also brought in a number of products to try out. For example, the massage candle is really one of my favorites. A wonderful relaxing scent spreads in your bedroom and the massage oil is wonderfully warm instead of such a cold splash of oil on your back. With spontaneous sex, you may prefer to skip foreplay, but with planned sex, the longer the foreplay may be, the better the sex!

I now enjoy our intimacy together immensely. This has also been different at the beginning of our marriage. I really had to learn that sex is not only sexually satisfying, but I learned that my husband wants to make love to me precisely because he loves me so much and therefore wants to be one with me. In recent years I have been able to discover why God invented sexuality for us as people. And I was also allowed to learn that if I noticed that I didn't feel like making love, I could lay this down with God without this being a clincher for sex right away. And trust me ladies it really works!

It is also wonderful to notice after sex how it has confirmed our love for each other again. Just an extra hug or kiss during the day or the fact that you only have to look into each other's eyes and one look says enough how much we love each other.

What about you? Is spontaneous sex preferred? Is planned sex a turn-off? Or do we have to schedule our intimate time in our often busy schedules?!

Els Gouman