Since I started my education in sexology, my experiences and previous knowledge have started to fall into place. For example, I wrote earlier in the blog “enjoyment is something you do with all five senses” about the sense of hearing. How many 'mainly' women even during sex still have their thoughts on a shopping list or fear that the children will wake up. All kinds of obstructive thoughts that don't really promote the desire for sex.
You don't have to feel guilty about this at all, that's just how you are as a woman. We women differ from men in that, they don't say for nothing: "men are from Mars and women are from Venus". The majority of men can simply focus on this when you are lying in bed together and their head is set on sex. Don't blame the other person for that, but understand the fact that you are made different as a man and woman and enjoy each other's qualities.
Read in this blog a number of tips on how you can help yourself to keep the focus on sex!
A fun fact: according to the study by Masters and Johnson, sex is made up of four stages. The so-called sexual arousal curve. These phases consist of desire, arousal, orgasm and recovery. These phases are widely used in sexology in particular and are used in therapy.
I zoom in a little deeper on the piece of desire. If you (or you) have decided to make it a pleasant evening, it can help you as a woman to think in advance what your evening will look like. Use your imagination to imagine how your man kisses and caresses you. How you get undressed or that your partner undresses seductively while you watch. You can even fantasize about an earlier time when you had great sex. Your fantasy helps you to get that excited feeling in your gut.
Even during sex it can happen that another job swirls through your head. Try again to focus your thoughts on what you feel in your body, focus your thoughts on your partner or use your imagination. It's really fun when you express your fantasy. By speaking this out, you can set your partner on fire even more and he will only enjoy fulfilling your fantasy.
Wishing you many beautiful fantasies!Els Gouman
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