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Here's what you didn't know about sex

It is special that we often know very little about how sex really works. There are a lot of prejudices, myths and fables. Do you actually know your own body well? And are the things you may have learned from your parents, boyfriends or girlfriends actually correct? It is very unfortunate that sex is still a taboo and that talking about it is often accompanied by shame. In this blog, therefore, two things about sex that I'm (almost) sure you didn't know yet and that emphasize the importance of good foreplay!

1. Vaginal ejaculation does not exist
This is perhaps one of the biggest sex myths out there. There is no difference between a vaginal or clitoral orgasm. It is possible to come through penetration alone, without extra stimulation of the clitoris , but this is not a vaginal orgasm. How about then? The clitoris is not only located in the upper, outer part of the vulva, but, like the penis, has erectile tissues that extend far into the labia (the bulbi). The clitoris is therefore many times larger than we often think! If good foreplay has taken place, these erectile tissues swell. As a result, it is possible that during penetration (thrusting the man), the man's lower body touches the labia, which leads to an orgasm in some women. That's why it's so important to take enough time for foreplay. Then you not only promote that you become sufficiently moist, but also that the entire organ of the clitoris is sufficiently swollen and that you are 'more sensitive' as a woman. It remains the case that not all women can come in this way and in many cases extra stimulation by hand or a vibrator is required.

2. How is your natural lubricant created?
The functioning of our vagina is really special and unique. For example, it is able to create its own natural lubricant. Here too, it is important to make enough time for foreplay. For many women, just thinking about sex or seeing sexually suggestive images is enough to trigger a physical response. The labia begin to swell slightly and fluid is created in the vagina. Many women do not even notice this at first, because it all takes place internally. In the case of men, a reaction is more immediately palpable and visible.

When a woman is excited, the vaginal wall has more blood and becomes much thicker (just like the penis). The vaginal wall becomes harder (thicker) so that the capillaries in the wall are literally compressed and fluid (plasma) flows from the cells and is pressed out through the vaginal wall. The natural lubricant in your body is indispensable for painless sex. If there is not enough lubricant present during penetration, the woman may experience pain or it may even lead to small wounds.

A fun fact: the moistening of the vagina in women is basically the same mechanism as the hardening of the penis in men. The difference is that in men, the blood that is supplied to the penis cannot flow in any direction, causing an erection. In women, however, it can go in all directions and leads to swelling and lubrication (fluid)*.

When I heard about the first point during a lecture by Ellen Laan, the penny dropped and there was also a kind of relief. I always thought it was the build of our body if you couldn't come vaginally, but now I know better. Do you also have a question? Or do you know a nice topic for a blog to write? Let me know!?

Els Gouman
*Source: Sex! Rik van Lunsen and Ellen Laan

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