Recently I got my hands on the book 'Kosher Sex', written by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. Since this title aroused my curiosity, I took a closer look at this great book. What struck me most about Kosher Sex was how beautifully Rabbi Shmuley describes sexuality. In a very practical way, he writes about how Jewish traditions view subjects related to sexuality and intimacy. I don't agree with him on everything, but it's nice to read how he discusses the mystery surrounding sex. The book teaches you how many deeper layers there are in sexuality and intimacy.
Fifty Shades of grey
Kosher sex isn't the only book on my bedside table lately. Fifty Shades of Gray has been in the same pile as Kosher Sex. Now I don't want to go into detail about Fifty Shades of Gray here, but the book has made me think. The book Fifty Shades of Gray describes in detail how the main characters in the book make love to each other. The description is so detailed that you don't have to make an effort to imagine it. I have to admit that the book does inspire to try new things in your love life and no, I'm not talking about all the extreme and kinky things in it! But isn't it nice to stay creative in your sex life too?
Rabbi Shmuley vs. EL James
Ultimately, Fifty Shades of Gray is of course highly romanticized and therefore does not give a realistic picture of sexuality within a relationship. What the book does do is describe things as they are, call the animal by its name. It leaves nothing to guess. In that respect, perhaps we can learn something from this in the Christian world. When you can't talk about sex in a normal way with each other, you create a kind of uncomfortable atmosphere that ensures that many problems remain undiscussed. At least Fifty Shades of Gray has ensured that sex is talked about everywhere. The only question is whether it provides the right 'information'.
Quote from Rabbi Shmuley Boteach:
"Organic sex needs new partners all the time to keep the passion going. Kosher sex brings out the deeper layers of one and the same partner, leading to fulfillment and renewal."
Rabbi Shmuley writes in his book, among other things, how attention is given within the Jewish tradition to sex education for couples about to get married. Before they tie the knot, both husband and wife are called to the Rabbi and receive extensive advice, practical tips and very detailed explanations about how to deal with sexuality in a beautiful but also Biblical way. It is remarkable, for example, that the pursuit of an orgasm in the woman is imposed on Jewish men as an obligation.
Finally, it's comforting to know that according to Rabbi Shmuley, oral sex , sex toys , and the Kamasutra are Kosher. So live it up I say!