A man is always in the mood for sex. A woman always has a 'headache' (read: not in the mood for sex). But man is a hunter by nature. He is from Mars, she is from Venus. I'm now in my mid-thirties and I'm starting to wonder: are all the clichés that exist about men and women actually correct? Does a man really feel like having sex much more because of all the testosterone rushing through his body? And is it true that they are not or hardly insecure about it?

The cliches confirmed
Ten years ago I started the Christian erotiekshop intimitijd.nl. My focus was on selling products for women. Because I understood from contact with my clients that the woman is less attracted to her than the man. The man also likes it more porridge than the woman. Some women have never experienced an orgasm or are even unaware of its existence. This immediately indicates how great the taboo is that rests on it... Sex feels like an obligation for many women. Enjoyment is not really the issue. All clichés that were confirmed time and time again by the contacts I had through my web shop. It only motivates me more to discuss the subject of sex and to sell products aimed at women. Because the fact that she can also enjoy sex is not in question for me.

The truth about men
In recent years I discovered something else by running intimitijd.nl. Namely that the man can be just as insecure about sex as the woman. And that there are also a lot of feelings for him. And not all men have a huge sex drive and feel like sleeping with their partner every day. Sex is not only pure lust, but also a way to express love. Men can be insecure just as much as women about how they perform in bed. They really aren't always focused on satisfying their own needs. But often also on that of their loved one!

Toys for him and her
In the webshop, the demand for toys aimed at men increased. This was reason to expand the range. It is in high demand from men looking for something that can satisfy both man and woman. I think it's a great development that men are increasingly daring to be vulnerable in this.
I would like to encourage you to throw all the clichés overboard. Both about men and women. Talk to your partner about sex. Take a look around my website and tell each other what you would like. Do you find it difficult to talk about this? Maybe the Sex Talk cards can help you with that. Go shopping together. Because that doesn't necessarily have to be something only for women...

Els Gouman